gen x af
with a metallica tshirt
been driving in beverly hills lately to change things up and last night got someone i didnt expect.
90210 is like that. sure there are the young annoying nouveux riche, but theres also wide eyed tourstist that i love, and then the kids who've grown up there. nothing impresses them.
this guy was wearing a metallica shirt. but not like the one you probably have.
one straight outta beavis and butthead: just a black shirt with white lettering with the name scrawled.
his name was leaf. we were going to echo park.
how old are you, he asked trying to figure out my deal.
a woman never reveals her age i replied, which startled him. never know these days he probably thought.
oh sorry he said. then correcting himself he asked what generation are you?
x i said proudly and turned up the sirius xm channel i was playing, lithium, which indeed was giving the people some nirvana, oddly. that station seems to be allergic to its namesake.
in a perfect world there would have been a freeway connecting beverly hills with downtown LA, he said. maybe something running above santa monica blvd.
i thought i had heard that was the plan back in the '60s but it was nixed, i said.
everything good gets nixxed leaf sighed.
everything? i said, always the optimist. isnt weed legal?
only reason weed is legal he barked back was because the suits and politicians thought the tax dollars would flow in and cover all their overspending. but that hasn't worked out well has it?
lithium started playing Live lightning crashes for some reason so i switched it over to the 80s channel. addicted to love.
leaf was all, oh yeah robert palmer
for some reason i thought he was younger than that, what generation are you? i asked
im x too. loved him, the power station, those chicks in the dresses. all of it, he said.
it was a blessed time.
everythings fucked now, he said, fidgeting with a vape the size of his entire hand.
you can smoke that in here if you want, i said.
no shit?
no shit, i echoed, just lower your window a little more.
we've been having a little heatwave hear in LA. nothing serious. low 90s in the valley. typical summer. but at night its perfect, especially with the windows down as we made our way along sunset.
he inhaled one giant pull after another, releasing enormous clouds that streamed out of the window of my tesla. when he was done he rolled the window back up a little.
i need to kick this, he said, looking at his vape contraption. theres nothing the ruling class loves more than when gen x fails to keep it real.
we dont keep it real? i asked.
we could do better, leaf said, a whole lot better. and now is the time.
yeah but isnt the thing that we dont give a fuck, that we're slackers, that we learned a long time ago that everything's fixed and a fraud?
my friend, that is where our power lies. that is why when we do rise up we can do it without fear because we know we're doing it for purely idealistic reasons that defy all the odds.
uh, i said, lost.
uh?
gen x isn't gonna rise up to do anything my man. maybe to answer the door when postmates shows up, but if you're waiting on us do do anything bold or couragous i dont think you understand what this generation is.
leaf perked up, rolled down his window and blew out a cloud of vape i hadnt seen him inhale.
our generation, he said loudly is jay z, eminem, chris rock, adam sandler, robert downey jr - fucking IRON MAN bro.
yes, and i love them, i love that adam sandler wears shorts to the oscars and eminem never leaves his house, and how fucking iron man could be in jail right now because of all the drugs, but they're not leading any charge. we're not leaders.
not leaders? he said mockingly.
no. they can do some punk rock things, they can write some great lines, but jay-z isn't why mamdani is the mayor of new york, mamdani is mayor in spite of no one serious helping, particularily gen x. and dont get me wrong, i love my generation, but that garden hose water stunted our growth.
he was clicking his phone. no leaders he asked defiantly? Gavin Newsom, Cory Booker, Tammy Duckworth, Gretchen Whitmer, Hakeem Jeffries, Josh Shapiro!
i took it in. thought about it as we let an Escalade cut in front of us in front of the Chateau Marmont and said i like all of those people, especially Gretchen, but are they really leaders?
you're not gonna vote for Gavin for president? leaf asked
how can i when he's too gutless to toss his hat in the ring?
it aint for two years leaf said
fucking lead. dont be coy. my kingdom, i said, for someone who just does the thing without the dance, without the focus group, without the blue print. just say hi my name is gavin newsom and i may not be perfect but im better than little marco or jd vance who have been complicit to some of the most evil shit which has killed innocent people, put others in great danger, and ruined the great economy sleepy joe worked hard to restore.
YES leaf said, and he will, but you realize there's a headwind he's up against.
oh i know, bro, i said, fucker vetoed magic mushrooms and $35 insulin. and he ate maskless at the French Laundry--
one of the sliding glass windows was open, leaf interrupted.
but they closed it because they were too loud, i said back.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? he asked me
bro, like you i live in California. my vote doesn't count. im an uber driver. this is the third job i have. i have zero ways to stop whatever is happening in DC happen. my state and my district will never not vote blue.
but you have a voice, leaf said. you can register people in arizona. you can register people in nevada. you can work phone banks for politicians in swing states. and you should! do you WANT to work three jobs until you die?
wrong question to ask me, i thought, because i love everything i do, so i just let him keep rolling.
here's how i used to feel, leaf said. i used to feel like if the usa was dumb enough to keep voting against their own best wishes then fuck it, let this whole experiment go down the toilet. this is stolen land anyways built on the backs of stolen slaves from africa. burn.
we were speeding past Toi Sunset, Guitar Center, and soon approached Rock n Roll Ralphs which he pointed at and continued:
if Gen Z aren't interested in learning guitar to make real music, what am i supposed to do, take to the streets and demand they learn? he asked. I understand why people were apprehensive to vote for Kamala. it didn't seem like a choice. it felt like we had to eat our vegetables. she was forced on us at the last minute, solely to beat trump. she was a spite store.
i laughed.
she said all the right things and she was qualified and she would have gotten all the right people around her and we wouldn't be in the mess we are in now, he continued. and tens of millions voted for her anyways because the other guy was and has always been the worst among us, but it felt like being a kid at an adult party and in walked another couple with a kid your age and they were all oh you two are the same age - go in that bedroom, go play star wars or something. meanwhile the other side was like no way are gonna let a Black WOMAN of all things be the next obama and now i gotta have a bunch of Kamalas as next door neighbors, and they rose up and voted en mass.
we stopped in front of a chipotle. he brought it home.
but then i thought, this is what the ruling class wants, he said. they want gen x, the smallest yet most dangerous group, to remain complacent. they want us to quietly raise our kids, busy ourselves with soccer games and meal prep, binge watch a bunch of bullshit on netflix and fall asleep without fucking. the last thing they want us to do is step it up 10 percent.
they don't want one of our 10 facebook posts to be: by the way Trump probably did molest those kids, which is why his DOJ won't release the 1.6 million remaining Epstein Files.
we passed the in n out next to hollywood high
they don't want us to put up posters that say free guillotine making lessons in front of city hall next saturday
they don't want us to just stop our cars on the 405 at 420 a few times a week and honk our horns in unison
they don't want us to wear GAVIN OR ANY MFer BUT JD tshirts
they just want us to follow their lead, when all along we were the silent leaders of all things cool, cicadas waiting for our 17 years disco nap to end.
it's time to wake up, uber driver
